


The Request

by heartsdesire456



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Discussions of mpreg, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Good Loki, M/M, Mpreg, Oblivious Tony, Post Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 22:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his life, Tony Stark had faced many shocks. Being kidnapped, discovering his lifelong friend was dealing under the table to terrorists, and suddenly finding himself a superhero was a pretty good start. Becoming friends with a man more brilliant than himself (who happened to have a nasty Jekyll and Hyde side), being teamed up with the same super soldier his father spoke of when he was a child, getting involved in the workings of a super-secret spy organization, and <i>saving the world from a god with the help of another god</i> were all pretty high on the ‘shock’ list. Even more shocking, the ‘evil’ god that tried to take over the world turning out to not be so evil, joining the good side to redeem himself, and somehow ending up in an entirely stable relationship with said god took the cake.</p><p>But just when Tony thought it was impossible to be shocked anymore, Loki corrected him of that theory with less than ten words.</p><p>
  <i>“What are your thoughts on children?” </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Request

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being way heavier than I meant for it to. It's not THAT angsty, but I intended for it to be humorous. Clearly it didn't turn out quite like I expected.

In his life, Tony Stark had faced many shocks. Being kidnapped, discovering his lifelong friend was dealing under the table to terrorists, and suddenly finding himself a superhero was a pretty good start. Becoming friends with a man more brilliant than himself (who happened to have a nasty Jekyll and Hyde side), being teamed up with the same super soldier his father spoke of when he was a child, getting involved in the workings of a super-secret spy organization, and _saving the world from a god with the help of another god_ were all pretty high on the ‘shock’ list. Even more shocking, the ‘evil’ god that tried to take over the world turning out to not be so evil, joining the good side to redeem himself, and somehow ending up in an entirely stable relationship with said god took the cake.

But just when Tony thought it was impossible to be shocked anymore, Loki corrected him of that theory with less than ten words.

“What are your thoughts on children?” 

Tony jumped so bad he dropped the wrench in his hand and it landed on his foot. “Ow!” he cried, hopping around and cursing. “Son of a bitch, fuck, fuck, fuck-“

“Stop,” Loki ordered, catching his hand to hold him. He knelt and touched his fingers to Tony’s ankle just up his pant leg and, as a flood of cool energy surged through his foot, Tony’s pain abated. “Are you alright now?” he asked, standing tall.

Tony nodded, then sat down heavily at his desk, chair rolling some. “Okay tell me I imagined what you said,” he said and Loki sat on the desk, looking amused. “You didn’t really say… uh-“

“I asked what your thoughts on children are,” Loki said and Tony flinched again. Loki rolled his eyes. “Oh do stop being ridiculous. This is serious-“

“So am I!” Tony said, looking horrified. “My thoughts on children as what? Small humans? Juveniles of species?”

Loki sniffed, crossing his arms. “Children as in ‘is that something you can see happening’?”

Tony laughed suddenly. “Of course not, Loki! Look, you don’t have to worry, Honey,” he said, resting his hand on Loki’s thigh. “We’re Avengers. Nobody would ever trust us with children even if we _did_ want them.”

Loki gave him a long stare and then shuffled his knee, pushing Tony’s hand away. “I want a baby,” he said seriously, voice tight.

Tony’s smile slid off his face. “You- you what?”

“I want a baby,” Loki said more firmly. 

Tony gave him a slightly panicked look. “Men don’t have babies!”

Loki glowered. “Well I do and you know I have before-“

“You fucked a _horse_ -“

Loki stood up abruptly, storming towards the door. “Oh you never let that go, do you?! Things are different there than they are here-“

“Yeah and _here_ men don’t have babies,” Tony countered quickly. “Loki, come on, you don’t seriously want a baby, do you?”

Loki stopped at the door and his shoulders tensed. He looked back at Tony and bit his lip. “I want to have a baby,” he said once more, voice tight before he left the room in with a cold silence.

~

Tony didn’t see Loki again until dinner, where Loki was sitting on a barstool with a book in his hand while Clint and Natasha cooked dinner. “I still think it’s freaky you two cook,” Tony said as he entered. He walked over and hopped onto the stool next to Loki. “Where’s everybody else, mom and dad?” he asked, earning a glower from Natasha.

“I am not, nor will I ever be anyone’s mother. Also, I’m probably young enough to be your child,” she pointed out.

“Young enough to be whose kid?” Steve asked as he and Thor entered, heading over to the table. Tony thought it was stupid but Steve seemed to like the idea of sitting down and having dinner as a team at least once a week and the ones who could cook took turns cooking that night. Even Agent Coulson came over when he had time. 

Clint laughed. “Tony called us ‘mom and dad’.”

Thor raised an eyebrow at Natasha. “You do not plan to have children some day?” he asked and she shot him a look.

“Hell no. Do I look like the ‘parental’ type to you?” she asked pointedly. 

Tony shook his head. “I cannot picture you with a baby for anything.” He nodded at Clint. “You, on the other hand, I can totally see being a parent.”

Clint smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe one day. I just doubt a _baby_. Guess it’s up to Phil and whether or not we make it to retiring before dying in the field.” He ducked his head. “It would be cool to adopt an older kid though.” He looked down at the bowl he was stirring. “I know how unlikely it is that kids get adopted after they’re a few years old. It would be nice to adopt a kid that doesn’t have as much of a chance.”

Natasha made a face. “I’m never retiring. If I don’t die in the field, I better live forever,” she said and Tony grinned.

“Exactly! Go out in a blaze and all that!”

Thor nodded. “Yes, there is no greater glory than to die in battle. However, there is no reason one cannot have children as well. I hope to have many, many children!” he said excitedly.

Clint grinned. “I can totally see a whole litter of kids with long blonde hair,” he said with a nod. “Sounds cool, man.”

Loki sniffed and closed his book, the first thing to make it seem he paid any attention to their conversation. “Well it appears I won’t be having more children anytime soon,” he said, looking down at the cover of his book.

Tony rolled his eyes. “C’mon, you weren’t _serious_ earlier-“

Loki slammed the book on the counter. “Yes, I was, but it’s clear what _your_ opinion on the matter is, and that appears to be a refusal to even believe me when I say that I want to have a baby!” He stood and stalked out, grumbling about ‘arrogant bastards’ in a way that had Tony cringing.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Tony, who just glared at her. Clint, looked at him then glanced away pointedly. Steve, however, clearly didn’t get the memo that everyone was ignoring the outburst, and he frowned over at Tony. “What’s that whole thing about?” he asked.

Tony snorted. “I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke, but Loki came to me earlier and out of nowhere asked me what I thought about children, as in _having_ them, and when I laughed at him, he did this same thing. I think the joke’s running dry, though. Storming out once is alright, but twice is dramatic even for him-“

“You think my brother jests?” Thor asked, sounding angry. Tony raised an eyebrow and Thor leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Stark, did you really _laugh_ at my brother’s question?”

Tony twisted to look at him. “Well yeah? What else would I do? He can’t be _serious_ right? I know he has kids-“

“ _Loki_ has kids?!” Steve asked, looking surprised.

Tony continued. “But this is earth, men don’t have babies here. And who the hell would let Tony Stark and the formerly-evil-god Loki to adopt a kid?”

Clint dropped his spoon. “Wait, when you say ‘men having babies’….”

Thor nodded, looking nonplussed. “Yes, my brother gave birth to a child through magical means once. Your legends claim he has more children than he does, but he has two. One was born from his arranged marriage when he was much younger. Your legends speak of more beasts, but the child he fathered is entirely Asgardian, I can assure you,” he said with a chuckle. 

Steve looked alarmed. “What was the other one?”

Thor had the decency to look uneasy. “Well… it will sound strange for you Midgardians, but magical means of this sort are not entirely uncommon on Asgard-“

Tony interrupted. “Loki turned himself into a lady horse and had sex with a man horse and gave birth to a baby horse,” he said and Steve and Clint both looked horrified.

Natasha just snickered. “That’s actually really funny.” She looked at Tony. “So wait, does he want to adopt or is it another ‘horse’ thing?”

Thor shook his head, clearly missing that she was teasing. “Of course not a horse! If he and Stark had a child it would be human, obviously.”

Steve looked positively green. “You mean… Loki wants to get _pregnant_?!”

Tony snorted. “Yeah, like that’s happening.” He shook his head. “Nope, no babies for me.”

Thor, however, gave him a stormy expression. “Stark, if that is your will, make it known, but do not dismiss Loki’s suggestion so flippantly. It is very rare that Loki yearns for children and he deserves serious regard and a discussion of why you do not want children. He deserves a valid reason, not just treating his questions as jests.”

Tony just frowned. “You think he’s really _serious_?”

Thor nodded. “It has been a very long time since Loki has had a child. It makes sense, really. He is more sound of mind now than he has been for a very long time, he is for once living with a partner that he actually seems to not hate, and his child would have a home. That is far more stable conditions than anything he could have hoped for in the past.” He glared at Tony. “Also, remember that is my brother and if you hurt him, I will probably throw you off the roof,” he added and Tony’s eyes widened in alarm.

“You know, I suddenly feel an urge to apologize for laughing, B-R-B!” he shouted as he rushed out of the room in the direction Loki went.

Thor and the others just laughed openly after Tony physically ran away.

~

Tony found Loki sitting beside the window, staring outside with a pensive look on his face. “Loki?” he said softly as he walked over.

Loki sighed, rolling his eyes. “Whatever do you want now, Stark?”

Tony cringed, sliding into the lounge chair, settling so that he and Loki were pressed together. “Stark, huh?” He slid his arm around Loki’s shoulders, stroking at his hair as he tried to get Loki to look at him. “Loki, I’m sorry,” he said and Loki sniffed, looking further away.

“Whatever for?” he asked bitterly and Tony felt like an asshole.

Tony pulled Loki’s hand to his lips and kissed his fingertips. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t think you were serious so I laughed and that was wrong of me.” He curled their fingers together and saw Loki’s lips curl slightly.

“Let me guess, Thor threatened you?” Loki asked and Tony grinned, leaning his head against Loki’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, put the fear of god in me,” he said, then smirked. “Hehe, get it, ‘fear of god’-“

Loki groaned, shaking his head. “I do not understand your Midgardian jokes but even I can recognize that one is probably bad.” He shrugged. “What do you want?”

Tony squeezed his fingers. “I am sorry. I didn’t take you seriously and I’m sorry for that. But Loki…” He looked at his face. “Why would you want to have a baby? The way we live, the life we have… where would a baby fit into that?” he asked gently.

Loki sighed, looking over at him. “Into my heart, Anthony,” he said softly, smiling sadly. “Look, it’s clear you do not want children, I’m sorry to spring the question on you, as you say, but I wanted to know what you thought.”

Tony felt like the biggest asshole ever to see the sad look in Loki’s eyes. “I swear it’s not the ‘man having a baby thing’,” he said and Loki looked at him closely.

“What is your problem?” Loki asked. “Why do you not want children?”

Tony gave him a pointed look. “I’m Tony Stark. I’m _Iron Man_.” He tapped Loki’s chest. “You’re the God of Mischief. What the hell would we do with a baby?”

Loki rolled his eyes and shrugged Tony off, standing. “We are far more stable than I can claim to have been in the past, Anthony.” He walked to the window. “My son was born because I made a bet and to ensure I won it, I transformed myself into a mare and became pregnant with a foal. I had little interaction with him before giving him to the Allfather’s stables.” He drew a shape on the glass where it fogged from his breath. “I was married to a woman I didn’t know or like, I produced a child as per the treaty my father signed, and then found a way to be released from any further interaction with her. I’ve only met my daughter once and she did not know who I am.” Loki looked down at his feet. “I love my children, of course, but there was no reason to be near them. I regret that sometimes, but there is no way to be mother to a horse and to be father to my daughter, I would have had to remain married to her mother.” He looked back, leaning on the glass as he looked at Tony. “And yet now, when I have recovered much of my sanity, when I have a better relationship with my brother than I ever have before, when I have a safe home amongst the best that two realms have to offer…” He hesitated and looked away, swallowing uncomfortably. “When I’m with someone that I love as I have loved very few before,” he muttered and Tony’s guilt flared. “I’m better equipped to care for and raise a child now and yet you do not want one.” He tilted his head. “I would be able to be a proper parent, Anthony. That is what we would do with a baby, we would be a family,” he said, voice cracking just before he turned and stalked away with his gaze averted. “Excuse me.”

~

Tony didn’t see Loki all night. He didn’t go to bed, which wasn’t abnormal, but usually Loki came by the lab at least once to try and persuade him to come to bed, even if it rarely worked. Loki never showed up.

The next morning, Tony left the lab just before he knew Loki would be awake and made him breakfast. Loki had quite the sweet tooth, so Tony made French toast and hot chocolate. He was just plating the first batch when Loki came walking in, looking paler than usual. “You alright, Loki?” Tony asked, sliding the plate to his usual spot at the counter.

Loki sat down and yawned, nodding. “Didn’t sleep well,” he mumbled tiredly. He looked down at his plate and hesitated. “Thank you,” he said, looking up at Tony with a small smile. “I am not angry at you, though,” he added and Tony shrugged.

“I’m still sorry.” He watched him and leaned on the counter for a little while, watching Loki eat. “What’s wrong?” he asked, seeing the bags under Loki’s eyes like he hadn’t in a while. “And be honest, it wasn’t just poor sleep.”

Loki sighed, putting down his fork. “No, it wasn’t, but there’s no reason to bother again.”

Tony frowned. “I thought you said you weren’t angry?”

Loki shot Tony a flat look. “I am many things, but I do not have to resort to anger that the man I love doesn’t want to have a child with me. You’re allowed to not want them. I cannot begrudge you your opinion. However, I have every right to be upset.”

Tony sighed. “Loki, I just don’t want kids. I’ve never wanted kids. I don’t know what to _do_ with kids. Hell, I don’t see why anybody likes kids. I’m sorry that you want one and I don’t want to give it to you, but you shouldn’t let it eat at you. If you aren’t angry, you shouldn’t be so upset-“

“Oh so I’m not supposed to be upset for myself?” Loki asked, anger in his eyes. “You really think not being angry at you means I should just accept with a shrug that I’m not going to be able to bear a child when I want one?!” Loki stood up, pushing his plate away. “You are allowed to not want a child, but I am just as much allowed to cry alone in bed all night with the knowledge that I won’t bear children while here on Midgard!”

Tony’s stomach dropped. “You were crying?” he asked and Loki laughed humorlessly, his voice strained.

“Yes, is that so shocking?!” he asked viciously. “I’ve had two days to handle the revelation that you do not intend to give me a child, I should be given more time than this to grieve the discovery I will not bear a child in the near future!”

Tony swallowed hard. “Loki, I didn’t know it would hurt you like this-“

“No, you wouldn’t because you are ‘the great’ Tony Stark and the world revolves around you and your wants,” Loki snarled, tears in his eyes. “Obviously, my emotions must all be about _you_ , my every thought must center on you.” He laughed humorlessly, scarily similar to the laughter Tony had heard long ago, before Loki became their ally. “Believe me, Stark. I’m centuries old. I lived a long time before you were even born. My state of emotion has existed and fluctuated _very_ much longer than you have even existed.” He shook his head, eyes fill of anger. “You may think you are a god among men, Stark, but I am an actual god and you are not the center of the world,” he said firmly, turning on his heel to leave.

~

A few days later, after Loki not-entirely-ignoring-him-but-basically-ignoring-him Tony tried to find a way to make it up to Loki. He thought about all the things Loki had said to him and tried to work out how to fix things. Loki wanted stability. It was clear he wanted a sense of family. Tony wasn’t sure about a baby, but he understood what Loki meant about family. Them, the team, that was the most ‘family’ Tony had ever known. For most of his life, Pepper and Rhodey were his only family. They were the only people he could trust or rely on. Now, however dysfunctional of a family it made them, Tony had friends who would have his back no matter what. 

Steve, as annoying as he could be, was like the perfect kid in school, the one that Tony couldn’t live up to in the eyes of everyone else, but who Tony knew he could trust no matter what. Clint and Natasha were less forthcoming with the rest of them than each other, but they were their teammates no matter what. Bruce was the best friend Tony could ask for. He was brilliant, he was witty, and he and Tony could spend hours together and never get bored. If Tony had ever had a brother, it would have been Bruce. Thor was unyieldingly loyal. Thor was the only person that never lost faith in Loki, no matter how far gone he had ever been. Tony couldn’t thank Thor enough for being the one thread that Loki could never break. Thor had a thousand reasons to turn on Loki as everyone else had, but no matter what he refused to give up on his brother and the love Thor had for his baby brother was what saved him. 

If Thor hadn’t been so stubborn, Tony would have never had the chance to learn what it was like to meet someone so incredible that nothing else in the world mattered sometimes. Tony had loved Pepper. He really had thought that she would be with him for the rest of his life. When things had begun to fall apart, it had hurt Tony more to realize that he wasn’t actually broken. He still loved her, and he always would love her, but she really did fit better as his best friend, as his rock to cling to when things got crazy, than she ever had as his girlfriend. And knowing how it felt to love someone and realize that wasn’t it, that was what made him understand how Loki _was_ it. Loki was everything that had been missing between him and Pepper. Loki was someone that Tony could lose himself into. Tony could – and had – spent hours just sitting beside Loki because he could. Very often, they did their own things but in each other’s vicinity because it felt better. Tony had always loved his solitude, and he still did, but with Loki, it felt just as comfortable to have him in the room while Tony did things as it did not to. Tony had shared passion with many people, he had shared chemistry with many people, but very few people had ever made him content. And with Loki, it wasn’t just content, he was comfortable in a way he never had been with anyone before.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Tony sighed, slumping across Bruce’s lab table. “I know he’s upset, I understand that now, but how does he come out and say he’s not angry when he clearly is angry at me?!” He whined. “Bruce, what do I, dooooooo?” He pouted up at him and Bruce rolled his eyes but chuckled.

“Well, if you want the biggest loser ever to give you dating advice, clearly you have identified one problem-“

“I’m serious,” Tony said and Bruce smiled.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Tony.” Bruce looked down at the table. 

Tony sat up and watched him. “What about you?”

Bruce looked over his glasses. “What about me, what?”

“You ever thought about kids?” Tony asked and Bruce smiled sadly and nodded. “Really?” Tony asked incredulously.”

Bruce took off his glasses and rubbed them on his shirt nervously. “Yeah. I wanted children a lot.” He fidgeted. “I wanted to marry Betty and have children. I was convinced that the best way to give a final ‘fuck you’ to my father would be to get married and have children and love them the way he never loved us,” he confessed. “I would be the husband and father that my own father never was and prove that he was a monster, not me.”

Tony shook his head. “You really should call her. She’s single again, last I hear,” Tony said and Bruce sighed heavily.

“Long time ago, Tony. She moved on and I accepted it.” He shrugged. “But yeah, to answer your question, I wanted children.”

Tony nodded. He let Bruce work in silence as he thought for a while, only to come to a surprising realization. “You know, I never thought about it… but I’d probably marry him.”

Bruce smirked. “Yeah?” he asked and Tony nodded.

“Definitely.” Tony smiled almost bashfully. “I really love him. He has more of me than anyone ever did. I fully plan on never giving him up as it is, and really, what more than that is marriage besides a piece of paper?”

Bruce looked at him for a while, searching his eyes for the truth, before smiling slowly. “You’re serious. You genuinely expect to be with him forever.”

Tony nodded. “As long as the super villains of the world don’t kill me first.”

~ 

Pepper stared at Tony like he was insane. “You want my advice on _what_?!”

Tony cringed. “I know, I know, it’s tacky, ex-girlfriend and all, but you’re still my best friend and I need your help,” he said, giving her wide eyes. “I need this to be perfect, Pepper.”

Pepper groaned, putting her face in her hands. “Tony, you’re going to give me gray hairs more than you already do,” she whined, then shook her head. “Why do you want to marry Loki anyways? You’re Tony Stark, you’re not supposed to get _married_.”

Tony smirked. “I wasn’t supposed to snag a god either, was I?” he asked, then smiled softly. “I want to marry him. He’s something I never knew I could have and everything anybody could wish for. He is without a doubt the most amazing person alive and I want to make him mine. I want him to always be mine.”

Pepper snorted. “Yep, that’s Tony Stark, sticking your name on everything you’ve got.”

Tony grinned. “Well it was this or get my name tattooed on his ass but for some reason, I think he’d go for marriage before that.”

“Alright, fine,” Pepper sighed. “Tomorrow at lunch we can go looking for rings,” she said and Tony threw his arms up in victory.

~

Loki was speechless. Tony had never felt more nervous than he did as he knelt in front of Loki, holding out a beautiful platinum ring to Loki, who was sitting on the couch still holding the popcorn he had been eating during the movie before Tony had slid to the floor and got down on one knee. “So what do you say?” Tony asked and Loki’s eyes twinkled as a smile teased at the corners of his lips.

“Are you serious?” Loki asked and Tony nodded.

“Marry me, Loki,” he urged. “Let me show the world that you’re mine.”

Loki bit his bottom lip as he grinned, fighting back a full on beam. “Okay,” he said softly. “Okay, I- I think I shall.”

Tony’s smile grew. “Yes?” He pulled the ring from the box and held it up.

Loki nodded, holding out his hand for Tony to slide the ring onto his finger. “Yes.” When it was there, Tony kissed his knuckle before moving to kiss Loki. Loki met him with enthusiasm, laughing into his mouth. “Anthony!” he gushed, pulling him close. “You are going to marry me!”

Tony kissed Loki again, nodding. “I’m going to marry you,” he confirmed. He stood long enough to push Loki down, crawling on top of him. “I’m going to marry you, and show you off, and treasure every single time I get to tell people that you are my husband.”

Loki moaned, pulling Tony into a hard kiss. “I cannot wait for that, either,” he said, grinning up at him when Tony stared down at him for a moment. “What on earth made you think of this, Anthony? I never expected anything like this.”

Tony shrugged. “Well, Bruce and I were talking about how he used to want to get married and have kids and I realized that I really want to marry you.” He pushed Loki’s hair back. “I already planned to spend my life with you.” He kissed Loki sweetly. “If I can’t give you a baby, I can at least give you this,” he mumbled absently.

He knew immediately it was the wrong thing to say when Loki tensed. “What?”

Tony shrugged. “Nothing, just-“

Tony was pushed back as Loki sat up, narrowing his eyes. “Is this an attempt to make me not want a baby?” he asked suspiciously.

Tony shook his head. “No, I just thought… well, I don’t want one of those things, but I do want this and I may as well-“ Loki pushed him off and stood up.

“May as well?! You may as well?” Loki groaned and turned to stalk out. “Damn you, Stark, you lie almost as well as I do,” he called as he left their lounge and entered the common area where the others were all gathered. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered on his way to the elevator.

Tony caught up with him quickly. “Loki, Loki wait! Wait, please, it isn’t like it sounds like-“

Loki wheeled around and faced Tony with more rage in his features and more _pain_ in his eyes than Tony expected. “OH REALLY!? It sounds to me like you don’t _want_ to marry me but thought it was the lesser of the two!” He let out a weak breath and a tear slipped free, streaking his pale cheek. “How could you ask me to marry you because you ‘may as well’?” he demanded.

Tony sighed. “Loki, it isn’t like that. I want to marry you, I promise-“

“NO, you don’t,” Loki argued, sniffling. “You would give me your name to distract from the fact you won’t give me a baby! You are just as arrogant and self-centered as ever!” Loki shook his head, wiping at his face. “Once again, you prove you think it’s all about you,” he spat as he turned and stalked towards the elevator, getting into it without another word.

“Loki, please!” Tony called, voice failing as the elevator doors slid shut. His head fell, until a voice clearing caught his attention.

Thor was glaring at him. “I do believe I warned you about the roof, Stark.”

Tony scoffed. “Sure, whatever, shovel talk, great. Like my life wasn’t falling apart already,” he sighed, then stalked off without meeting anyone else’s eyes. “If anybody needs me, I’m going to go hang myself,” he muttered as he stalked away to the stairs, intent on going down to his lab to hide.

~

For several days, Tony did not see Loki. He knew he was still in the house, but he didn’t see him. He also knew that Thor knew something to do with Loki’s hiding because Thor wouldn’t speak to him either. Tony felt horrible for how badly he had hurt Loki without thinking, but he did think Loki was overreacting just a bit by hiding for days on end.

Loki did not resurface until one night when Tony woke form a nightmare about – even years later – the hot desert sand and his achingly dry throat, to find Loki holding out a glass of water and shaking him awake. Tony jerked awake and sat up, chest heaving. “Here, Anthony, drink,” Loki said softly, letting Tony take a long drink from the glass before setting it aside. Tony put his hands in his hair and leaned his elbows on his knees as he took deep breaths, reveling in the cool air after his nightmare. “Shhhh,” Loki breathed, sliding his long, delicate fingers along Tony’s forearm. “Just breathe, my dear.”

Tony let go of his hair and caught Loki’s hand, holding it tightly as he waited for the lingering fear to subside. By the time he could breathe evenly again, Loki’s head was leaned against Tony’s temple as his free hand soothed Tony’s shoulder. “I’m okay,” Tony mumbled hoarsely.

Loki wasted no time pulling Tony into his arms and lying down. “Of course you are,” he said softly, his deep yet gentle voice vibrating against Tony’s skin as Tony tucked himself under Loki’s chin, resting on his chest. “Nothing is going to harm you, Anthony, not while I am here.”

Tony sighed and nodded, curling his arms around Loki’s middle. “I missed you,” he whispered and Loki kissed his temple. “I’m sorry for everything. I was wrong to underestimate how you felt and I’m an asshole.”

Loki chuckled softly, his voice so warm and smooth, yet deep, that Tony felt like he would wrap himself up in Loki’s voice if he could. “You are rather insensitive, but I know you did not mean to be.” Loki stroked a hand down Tony’s back and sighed. “If you aren’t going to try and sleep again, would you like to talk about it? A rational, calm conversation for once? I think we are both capable of it,” he teased and Tony chuckled, then nodded, sliding off of Loki’s chest to lay against his own pillow, looking across it at Loki, who turned on his side to do the same.

“I really do want to marry you,” Tony opened with. “I said things so wrong, and I’m sorry, but it really wasn’t me trying to replace having a baby. I genuinely want to marry you.” He looked at the ring that was still on Loki’s finger and leaned over to kiss it. “Does that mean you still will have me?”

Loki breathed in slowly. “I do want to marry you. I would have you tomorrow.” He smiled weakly. “You are the one that I love, Anthony. I would love to share that with the world.” He hesitated and bit his lip. “But before I agree fully, we must really speak about the bigger issue here.” Tony nodded and Loki took a breath. “Why do you not want to have a baby?” he asked.

Tony groaned. “Loki, I’ve named every reason-“

“But the real one,” Loki said and Tony looked up in surprise. Loki chuckled. “Give me credit, I am the god of lies.” He reached out and cupped Tony’s face in his hand. “Tell me, Anthony. What is the true reason you do not want a child?” he asked gently.

Tony had fought the truth. He had tried to avoid even thinking on it. But as he lay looking into the desperate and pained eyes ahead of him, the beautiful green eyes that he never liked seeing pained, he knew he had to finally admit the truth to Loki and to himself. Tony took a breath and then clutched Loki’s hand as his eyes fell shut. “Because I don’t- I don’t want to turn into my dad,” he whispered in a tight, almost broken voice. Loki gasped in surprise and Tony let out a soft, pained whimper. “Loki, I can’t put a child through that. I can’t. I know what it’s like to not ever be loved by your father. I know what it’s like to be just another invention. I still, to this day, find myself doing things and wondering if my dad would be proud of me if he was alive,” he admitted, tears filling his eyes. “He’s been dead for twenty years and I still can’t help but wonder why I wasn’t good enough for him to love me.” 

Loki’s breath stuttered. “Oh Anthony,” he whispered, sliding to hold Tony’s face gently. “My dear-“

“And I can’t do that,” Tony continued. “I can’t, Loki. I can’t be a father because I’ll be just like him. I don’t know what to do with kids. I don’t know how to behave with them. I’d be just like my dad and I’d fuck up someone else the way I’m fucked up. I don’t know how to love a child because my dad never loved me and then the man who became like a father tried to kill me. I don’t want to bring a child into this world and then make them suffer a lifetime of feeling like shit because they were never good enough to make their old man love them.” He let out a broken noise. “It never stops. I never stops and I can’t do that to a child! I don’t have enough love in me to give a child the amount of love they deserve and I just can’t-“

“Shhhh,” Loki whispered, pulling him close. “Oh Anthony, you are _not_ your father-“

Tony laughed painfully. “Bullshit. I’m my father made over. I look like my dad, I talk like my dad, I do the same things my dad did-“

“You opened your heart and allowed yourself to care for me,” Loki soothed, stroking his bangs back. He smiled at Tony. “Anthony, you have a greater capacity to love than anyone I’ve ever met. You are nothing like your father,” he said fiercely. “Your heart is what sets you apart, Anthony Stark. Not your brain, not your metal suit, but your heart.” He pressed their foreheads together. “You have more love in your heart than most people of any realm will ever know, My Love.”

Tony clung to Loki, sliding a hand into his hair. “Then marry me. Let me prove to myself that I can give someone that love. I love you with everything in me, Loki. So marry me.” He smiled wetly. “Marry me and prove your claim.”

Loki smiled softly, leaning in to kiss Tony, putting everything he could into what was a relatively chaste kiss for the emotions running high in them both. “Anthony,” he breathed, then gave a weak whine. “I want to marry you. I want to give you that proof-“

“Good-“

“But I can’t,” Loki whispered, and Tony froze. Loki sat up, leaning back against the headboard as he put his face in his hands. “By the gods, why did this happen?” he choked out.

Tony frowned, sitting up on one elbow. “Loki?” he asked uneasily.

Loki let out a broken sound and let his head fall back, tears streaking his face. “I cannot marry you because you do not want all of me as I am.”

Tony scoffed. “Bullshit,” he barked. “I love every piece of you, what are you even talking-“

“I am with child,” Loki whispered, effectively silencing Tony.

Tony stared, eyes wide, before glancing down at Loki’s middle and back. “You…”

Loki nodded, crossing his arms across his middle. “I first asked you what you thought about children because I discovered it,” he said softly. Tony breathed in sharply and Loki nodded sadly. “I planned to ask your thoughts on children and follow it by the announcement that I was with child, but your reaction was so- so bad I didn’t know what to do.” He let out a weak sob. “And you made it clear you did not want it. You made it so clear I didn’t know what to do.” He looked away. “I’ve been struggling to decide if I wanted you or the baby more. I thought I may be able to find it in me to rid myself of the child and never tell you, but I- I cannot. I want this baby so much.” He shook his head, face screwed up in pain. “I want my baby even if it means losing you,” he whimpered. “That is why I cannot marry you, my love, I couldn’t allow you to announce it and get excited because you would not want me anymore when I chose to have this baby when you hate the idea so-“ Tony startled Loki as he kissed him hard, clinging to him.

“Thank you for deciding that,” Tony panted when their kiss broke. “Thank you so much for not choosing me, thank you Loki, thank you, thank you.” He laughed suddenly, stroking Loki’s cheek. “You’re so amazing.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Um… not to complain, my dear, but what do you mean by this?”

Tony couldn’t even put into words what Loki had done to Tony’s own thought process by choosing the baby above Tony, so he went with the only example he could give. “My mother had me because she thought my dad would appreciate a child. When I was a son, she thought he would enjoy me even more.” He shook his head. “My mom had me to make my dad happy.” He stroked Loki’s cheek. “You would choose our baby over me.”

Loki seemed to understand and he smiled sadly. “Anthony, I love you more dearly than you can know,” he promised, and then he shook his head. “But this baby is more dear to me already than you can know, either. I do not want to lose you, but there is a life inside of me that is both of you and of me. A new life is far more important than the happiness of a man who lived his whole life without me and was perfectly fine.”

Tony nuzzled Loki’s jaw. “We’re having a baby,” he whispered in awe, and Loki pulled back, looking into his eyes with thinly veiled hope.

“ _We_?” Tony sighed and bit his lip.

“I’m still scared,” he started, though his eyes weren’t as heavy. “But like you said… you believe that I have more heart than that.” He pulled Loki close, kissing him sweetly. “Your faith in me means a lot. You love this baby more than you love me and I _know_ how much you love me,” he stressed. He smiled against his lips. “I believe you. And if you are to be believed, then this baby has your love and you think I can love it more than I think I can.” He shrugged. “My biggest fear about children was having a child who was unloved like I was.” He smiled when realization dawned on Loki’s face. “Our baby has you, even if I fall flat, but I think I may be able to surprise myself because I trust you.”

Loki looked guardedly hopeful. “So… what are you saying? You do not want me to go?”

Tony shook his head, then smiled brightly, eyes filled with so much warmth and love that Loki could not imagine how Tony didn’t know it existed. “I still want you to marry me,” he said, leaning in to kiss Loki again. “Marry me and help me be the father I never had.” 

Loki grinned, pulling Tony on top of him as he fell back. “I know you can be a better father than yours ever was. Much better of a father than I ever had,” he said, looking up at Tony, hand on his cheek. “You have more love in your heart than you see and I’m absolutely sure you will feel it when it is necessary.” He smirked, sliding his foot along the outside of Tony’s ankle. “For now, however, how about you show me how you love me,” he purred and lifted his hips against Tony’s, making Tony moan softly.

“I think I can do that.”

~

Loki woke up with a lazy stretch, moaning as he rolled onto his stomach and stretched his arms above his head with a sigh. He was reluctant to open his eyes and really wake up, but when he did, he was rewarded by a pair of beautiful brown eyes looking back at him. He smiled sleepily and Tony grinned, reaching out to push his hair from his cheek. “Good morning, Honey,” Tony said softly, hand resettling on Loki’s shoulder.

Loki lifted himself up on his elbows long enough to shuffle over and kiss Tony lazily, moaning softly as Tony’s hand slid to his back. “Good morning, Anthony.” He relaxed with his hands underneath his chest, blinking sleepily across the pillow. “I’ve missed waking up beside you,” he whispered.

Tony’s smile widened some and he stroked his hand down between Loki’s shoulder blades, watching him shiver. “Let’s hope for far fewer occurrences of that in the future,” he said softly. “Especially now that we’re getting married.” Loki’s face split into a happy smile and he arched into Tony’s hand stroking down his spine.

“I’ve never been married to someone I love before,” Loki said and Tony snickered.

“Well I’ve never been married before.” He laughed at Loki’s humming as his hand went up and down his spine soothingly. “Are you _purring_?” he teased.

Loki chuckled low in his throat. “That just feels nice,” he said, wiggling his shoulders. “You Midgardians are so _warm_.”

Tony leaned over and kissed his shoulder. “You know, to be a ‘frost’ anything, you’re not exactly _cold_. A little cooler than me, but that’s it.”

Loki arched. “The baby will probably be somewhere in between us,” he mumbled softly, and Tony’s hand stilled. Loki opened his eyes and saw Tony staring blankly. “Anthony?”

Tony swallowed and put his hand back on Loki’s back, nodding. “Jesus, we’re really having a baby.”

Loki nodded, sitting up. “You… you still want this, right?” he asked, kneeling with the sheets pooling around his waist.

Tony nodded, smiling. “I do.” He sat up and turned to face Loki, pulling his hands so that Loki was facing him. He looked up into his eyes and squeezed his fingers. “We’re getting married and we’re having a baby,” he said with a warm smile.

Loki nodded, then smiled. “I’m hungry, I’m going to go see if there is food,” he said, pecking Tony’s lips before crawling out of bed. Tony yawned and moved to do the same, only to hesitate, raising an eyebrow when he noticed something. 

“Hey…” Tony dropped his shorts and walked around the bed. “Are you… starting to show?” he asked, stopping Loki’s hands when he started to button his shirt.

Loki looked down at his middle and smiled sweetly. “Yes,” he said, looking at Tony closely. “Just a tiny bit, you didn’t notice last night?” he asked and Tony shook his head.

“No way,” he said, reaching out, only to stop, looking up. Loki nodded and Tony laid his hand over Loki’s belly. He was a thin man, so the slight thickness to his waist was noticeable. He wasn’t round or anything, his stomach simply went slightly outwards rather than inwards between his hips and ribs. Tony flattened his hands over his middle and smiled up, meeting Loki’s eyes. “There’s totally a baby in there, huh?”

Loki laughed and nodded. “Yes, my dear, there is.” He kissed Tony sweetly and then pulled away to finish buttoning his shirt. “Come on, I’m providing nourishment for an extra life form, it would not do for me to not eat.”

Tony grinned, pulling Loki down for a kiss before going to gather his clothes. “Whatever you say.”

~

When Loki and Tony showed up together at breakfast, Clint raised an eyebrow. “I thought you two weren’t speaking?” he asked curiously. “You guys made up?”

Natasha groaned at the counter where she was holding out her plate impatiently. “Worse, they made up _very_ loudly last night.” She glowered. “Multiple times.”

Loki just smirked deviously. “Do not lie, you enjoyed it,” he purred, winking at her. 

Tony chuckled, sliding his arms around Loki. “She’s just jealous.” He shrugged. “Sorry, Red, you had your chance a long time ago, you just wouldn’t give in and allow yourself to enjoy your time working for me. Your loss,” he said, smiling up at Loki. “Now Loki gets to officially stake his claim.” 

“Claim on what?” Phil asked as he and Steve came in. “You’re not trying to take over another world, are you?” he asked suspiciously and Loki gave him an innocent smile.

“Only the world that Anthony things revolves around him,” he said, holding up his hand. “We’ve decided to get married,” he said warmly. “Where is my brother? I wish to tell him our good news!”

Tony cringed. “Hey, so, the whole ‘protective brother’ thing, he’s not gonna kill me for the other thing, right?” he asked, making a face. “You know, shotgun waving and stuff?” he asked.

Loki snorted. “I’m a centuries old god, not a sixteen year old girl from Alabama, or wherever it is Barton is from-“

“Hey, I’m from Iowa, jackass,” Clint argued. “Just for that, you only get two pancakes.”

Loki hummed, smiling secretively. “I have a wonderful retort for that, but my brother is not here yet, so I shall refrain.”

“I am here!” Thor called as he came in. “Assuming I am the ‘brother’ you speak of,” he said, then stopped, smiling hesitantly at the way Loki and Tony were standing together, an arm around each other. “I take it things are mended then?” he asked and Loki smiled brightly.

“Yes, we’re getting married,” he said, then glanced at Barton. “Now I can speak; would you really withhold a full breakfast from someone who is eating for two?” he asked, fighting to keep a straight face.

Clint froze, turning on the spot to stare. Phil and Natasha shared a quick look at Tony, but Thor broke into a wide smile. “Are you saying-“

Loki let out a warm laugh. “I am saying I am with child,” he announced, squeaking when Thor scooped him into a hug. “Thor!”

“I’m so happy for you, Brother!” Thor boomed, putting him down gently. “He glanced at Tony then back. “I’m assuming this is good news,” he said, voice curious.

Tony chuckled but nodded. “Yeah, it’s good news.”

Steve waved a hand. “I thought this whole thing the last few weeks was about Loki wanting a baby and you not?” he asked.

Tony cringed. “I was a dick,” he said, then slid his arm around Loki’s middle. “Loki and I talked last night and made up for the fight about our engagement, and I asked if he still wanted to marry me, but he said he couldn’t because he was pregnant and has been for a while, and he wanted the baby more than me.” He shrugged. “We talked about why I didn’t want a baby and he made me realize I can actually be a good dad – with his help at least – and to be honest, if he can help me not fuck up a kid the way my dad fucked me up, I do genuinely think I will enjoy having a kid.”

Loki smiled down at him. “My dear, you have more love in your heart than you know. You will be a wonderful father.”

Tony shrugged, resting his hands on Loki’s middle, looking up into his eyes. “I’ll settle for ‘decent’,” he mumbled, standing on his toes to meet Loki in a kiss.

“Alright, alright, enough of that,” Clint said, waving a spatula. “No smoochin’ in the kitchen. Eat some damn pancakes,” he grumbled, earning a devious glance from Loki before he tugged Tony close and kissed him harder in defiance.

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a sequel planned but it is not necessary to read both.


End file.
